Do you Compare Yourself?
Posted on 23rd August 2023 at 07:42
Do you compare yourself to others and come off worst? Why we do it and how to recover.
Understanding and Overcoming it.
In a world that thrives on social interaction and competition, it's only natural that we often find ourselves comparing our lives, achievements, and possessions to those of others. This tendency to compare ourselves to others is deeply ingrained in human psychology and has both positive and negative aspects. Here is the why, the effects on our mental health, and practical strategies to break free from the comparison trap.
1. Validation and Self-Esteem: Comparison often stems from the desire for external validation and a boost in self-esteem. When we see ourselves succeeding or performing better than others, we feel a temporary sense of accomplishment. On the other hand, when we perceive others as more successful or attractive, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem if deep down we already hold these beliefs.
The Negative Effects of Comparison
1. Vulnerability: placing our self-worth outside of ourselves and in the hands of others leaves us vulnerable to abuse but also dependent upon others’ approval.
2. Unrealistic Standards: Constantly comparing ourselves to others can lead to unrealistic standards of success and happiness. The highlight reels we see on social media often present an idealised picture of people's lives, ignoring their struggles and challenges.
3. Jealousy and Envy: Comparison can lead to jealousy and envy, creating a toxic cycle of negativity. These emotions not only harm our mental well-being but can also strain our relationships with others.
4. Reduced Self-Confidence: Continuously measuring ourselves against others can erode our self-confidence. If we constantly find ourselves falling short in these comparisons, it can lead to a belief that we are incapable of achieving our goals.
Breaking Free from the Comparison Trap
1. Practice Self-Awareness: Start by recognising when you're engaging in comparison. Awareness is the first step toward changing any behaviour. Mindfully observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment.
2. Focus on Personal Growth: Shift your focus from external benchmarks to internal growth. Identify personal values and goals that are meaningful to you and work towards them, regardless of what others are doing.
3. Limit Social Media Use: Social media platforms are breeding grounds for comparison. While staying connected is important, remember that what you see online is often a filtered version of reality.
4. Focus on Gratitude: Practice gratitude for what you have accomplished and the positive aspects of your life. Regularly reflecting on your achievements can help you appreciate your journey and boost your self-esteem.
5. Celebrate Others' Success: Instead of feeling envious of others' achievements, celebrate their successes genuinely. This shift in mindset can help you create a more positive and supportive social circle.
6. Embrace Uniqueness: Recognise that everyone has their own path and timeline for success. Know and love your uniqueness and value your individual journey.
Comparing ourselves to others is a natural human instinct, but it's essential to understand when this behaviour becomes detrimental to our well-being. Focussing on your uniqueness and who you are and want to bring is much more exciting and fulfilling.
If this resonates with you then you might find more information of interest here.
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