Are you somebody's scapegoat?
Posted on 15th July 2022 at 09:27
Does it feel like you’re spending the majority of your time at work or home under the bus?
Like, no matter how hard you try you’re being set up to fail and that none of your achievements will ever be good enough?
Being scapegoated in either a workplace or family situation is never a good feeling. It can feel like you’re being blamed for everything that goes wrong or that your successes and achievements don't mean anything.
If you tell someone how you are feeling, your worst fears could be confirmed. But if you don't and continue to bear the brunt of being the office or family scapegoat, the effects to your mental health and emotional wellbeing can be detrimental.
So, why do some people feel like they need a scapegoat? And how do you free yourself from being their scapegoat?
What does it mean to be someone's scapegoat?
A scapegoat is someone who, through no fault of their own, is blamed for the wrongdoing or mistakes of others.
Some of the key signs that you’re a victim of being scapegoated include:
Feeling ignored or overlooked by those you feel you should be close to.
You get blamed for everything that goes wrong even if it wasn't your responsibility.
Name calling that leaves you feeling uncomfortable and like you’ve been taken advantage of.
Your successes and achievements are frequently downplayed or overlooked.
You’re often the first person to be called in a crisis, but once things go back to the way they were before, so do their actions towards you..
You’re held to a different standard to everyone else.
You often feel like you’re being set up to fail and aren’t receiving the same information or level of support as others around you.
Feeling anxious about the prospect of coming into work or seeing your family.
Why does scapegoating happen?
Everyone carries a level of shame around with them and no one wants it. Whether it's limited beliefs, actions or failures from their past, these are feelings which people, particularly with narcissistic tendencies, struggle to acknowledge and come to terms with. Instead, what they do is they push this shame onto their chosen scapegoat by blaming, shaming and holding them to a different standard as everyone around them. The perpetrator does this in order to create feelings of superiority and control over this person.
How to find freedom from being the scapegoat
Take time to process their comments and only accept responsibility for what you know to be just and true. And don't feel bad for doing so.
Know your value and create a support network who recognises this too.
Give yourself permission to feel the emotions their actions are eliciting. And, if it feels like the best option for you, give yourself permission to step away from the people and environment that is causing you to feel this way.
If you’d like some guidance to get you started on this journey to recovery, please get in touch and we’ll arrange a completely free, completely confidential 50-minute consultation call with you. Finding your true freedom from scapegoating today.
Share this post: