What's your no?
Posted on 5th May 2022 at 10:34
Becky* has been with her current employer for 11 years now. She’s worked her way up in the company and now manages a small team in a large firm.
She’s the first to offer help when it’s needed, first to take on those horrible tasks that have been put off for a while because no one wants to do them, and first to jump in and cover when someone's sick.
But behind closed doors, Becky is totally overwhelmed with her current situation.
It’s not unusual to get an email from her work Iphone at 10pm when she’s “just tying up a few loose ends”.
And it's not that she can't do the job, far from it actually. It’s just that she’s said yes to too much and is struggling to fit it all into the day.
Between her new work projects, covering holidays and the seemingly endless list of after school activities the kids have signed up for, Becky has completely lost touch with herself and her priorities.
And Becky isn’t alone. We’ve all found ourselves falling into this pattern of overworking at one time or another.
So here’s what I recommended she do…
Remind herself of her personal right to say ‘no’ and what her ‘no’ would be. Practice saying no with a smile if appropriate and then remove yourself from the situation or move your focus onto what you are doing.
Every human being has a basic right not to be responsible for others’ behaviour, actions, feelings or problems.
It's ok to say no, it doesn’t make you a bad person.
Also be careful to avoid being insincere by making excuses for why you are saying no, the other person will sense if you are not telling the truth. We fear being rejected or judged if we say no. But how often have you wished you could be that confident colleague or friend who does say no with a smile and seems on top of their time.
Be clear about what you're working towards and who you’re doing it for. What’s important to you and what isn’t.
That way, when someone comes to you with a task that won't fulfil your need, you’ll be more confident in politely telling them “no”, knowing full well that you already have work or tasks to perform and now you’ll be able to spend that time on tasks that are more important to you.
So, what’s your no?
If you’d like some help finding the answer to this question, you can book a fully free, fully confidential call with me today.
*names have been changed to protect the clients identity.
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